A self-directed micro fiction project for 2021, posted on Instragram @helloheidiball
The Rules:
- Take a photo of an object to use as the story prompt.
- Make something up on the spot.
- It cannot be true.
Warning: stories are likely to be of a nonsensical nature and sometimes it is okay to break the rules.
February
It is hard being immortal, and if I had a soul, it would be hard on that too.
When people find out, they always have assumptions, prejudices, generally think I am cold and invincible. The real problem though is their expectations, that’s why I transformed. For a nice bit of peace and quiet.
The problem is, I’ve forgotten how to transform back.
‘If you’re being chased by a bear, you should drop something, like an item of clothing, so the bear will stop to sniff it and you can get away.’ She said, her feet sinking into the sand. Not a single bear in sight.
‘If you’re being chased by the sea, I don’t think it will stop if you drop anything.’ He said, throwing a pebble into the water, without making it skim.
‘Does that mean the sea doesn’t have a sense of smell?’ she said, sniffing. ‘Can I borrow your coat?’
Looking at the street plans, the crew realised they might have put all the lanterns in a group, rather than along the row. This was an issue indeed, but they decided to leave it as it was. Just really pretty.
The Visitant fell to earth and found itself in a barren landscape. There were low-lying life forms but communication was found with a tall structure with connecting lines.
Intrigued, the Visitant listened with interest, trying to understand this new place. At first, it was indistinct sounds, but they soon became addicted: had Jennifer had a baby yet, did Mr Campion get his insurance claim for the burst water pipe and did anyone send money to Amazen as their account had been blocked?
Ghosts are real, fact. The only thing people don’t know, is that they only appear in miniature.
So if you are afraid of strange noises in the dark, don’t be, the ghosts are more scared of you.
Don’t look under the bed though, you know why.
Roses had sold out on the most romantic day of the year. But succulents were still in stock, and this unusual plant was an instant winner for the love inspired pair. However, they did not realise that this particular species was carnivorous. Sadly, this came to fruition when their pugapoo disappeared, and its collar was found in the plant pot, along with the wing of a magpie and some small bones of an unknown origin.
I walked into the cafe, sat opposite Tamsin and rested my elbows on the slippery table. She half-smiled.
‘I don’t really want to talk to you.’ Tamsin said looking away, absently sloshing the water around her feet.
‘But you came to see me.’ I smiled, trying to brighten the moment, hoping she would forgive me.
‘Only because its nearly the end of the world as we know it.’ she said, puffing her face out like a guppy.
‘Of course.’ I grinned.
Even though the crack in our tank kept getting bigger, we would always be friends.
‘Um, it’s a bit thin’, someone muttered as they stood around the Trojan Horse, scratching their heads. ‘Still, it will conceal us all so we can sneak into Troy, and I can’t wait to see their faces when we all jump out and, you know, destroy them.’
The only people who didn’t look happy were the carpenters. Half the Greek army was waiting to climb into the horse, but they were the only ones that knew they’d forgotten to put the wheels on.
An eviction notice was placed at the Pinewood residence, giving them 2 months to vacate the property. The tenants, meanwhile, were taking the landlord to court over the lack of effort in fixing the massive hole in the roof. No one was happy and the proceedings were moving at a snail’s pace.
Ninja training school felt more like a prison. You couldn’t even sneak out after hours. Everyone saw everything and could be anywhere within an instant, and surprise attacks happened on the hour every hour.
The only thing that Angry Kitty could think about was world domination. It was at the top of his agenda. He typed his manifesto, devised plans and took an afternoon nap.
Low flying spaceships had been spotted in the lower district of Penryn. The more sightings reported, the more people had to believe that we were not, and never had been, alone in the universe.
Leaving the Shire had been a difficult decision, and staying off the path was pretty tricky, but the one thing our Hobbits hadn’t taken into account, was the state their clothes were in due to their Unexpected Journey. The nearest laundrette wasn’t until Rivendell and a lot could happen to Hobbits out on an adventure.
The blue doll sat in quiet contemplation, holding within her the secrets of one unpleasantly spoilt little girl, who sadly didn’t have anyone else to share them with.
When enough herbs are gathered, at midnight of course, they are dried and ground into a gritty powder, (witch) can be pinched and inhaled for a number of different subtle reasons.
Murder mittens were worn at the annual Kittenpolooza horror convention. Most paws were made out of fabric and foam, but occasionally someone snuck in the real deal, and then all kinds of hell were set loose. Only catnip and an occasional fluffy jumper could bring the event back under control.
The Woodland Spirit frowned to itself, settled back in its nest and thought about the Witcher, out on a Wild Hunt. Then he laughed to himself. The Witcher could never be as powerful as him. He was the boss of these woods, and nobody beats a boss…
It was love at first sight. The stars aligned and unfortunately, so did the meteors.
In a dramatic twist, the banana slipped over a human and pulled a muscle. The human went to seek help, but there wasn’t much left of the banana when they returned. The mystery may never be solved.
The still-life ‘Portrait of the Tissue’ made £3million at auction. It was only when they unpacked it at the other end, did they realise it was identical to a box is tissues sitting in their downstairs cloakroom. Tears were shed, and they were wiped away with an expensive dose of regret.
January
Six thousand years after Starfleet disbanded, a child of Moonforce scratched at the remnants of the disused Type-10. Many generations had flown the stars since then, but they all knew the tales of those first pioneers, and the next generation.
Things were never going to be the same again. They’d screamed and shouted all night. One had always been ‘roses are red’, and the other was ‘violets are blue’. But after everything had shattered, they both knew they had to make compromises. Somethings just we’re not the right colour, but they could be fixed.
The feud had lasted a millennium, or that’s what it felt like. Communication had broken down at its core. Bertie said that Basil wasn’t as wise as he was, and Basil was still trying to think of a suitable comeback, other than ‘am twoo’.
Life had been rough on Elmer, running around the countryside with the other elephants was hard on the knees. Even though the patchwork of bright colours had faded, Elmer was still the same, and it was easier to play hide and seek when you didn’t look like a rainbow granny blanket.
Dry January was almost over. She was going to win the bet. Then he placed a certain delicious brand of bubbly on the table and walked away. She considered how expensive lawyers would be, for and against, it would either be mental cruelty or grievous bodily harm. Neither was worth it for £10 and a modicum of self-respect. She’d have a drink while she contemplated her options.
The researchers gathered around the stem-and-leaf diagram with confused looks upon their faces. They were expecting quantitative data to analyse, but Brad was too embarrassed he’d brought in pictures of his garden by mistake, so tried to make the best of a bad situation. He presented on the effects of seasonal and climate changes on local flora for 3 hours, hoping no one would notice.
In the deepest part of the deepest ocean lives a monster so ferocious that it pulses magma with every breath. Luckily for us all, it seems to prefer it down there, broiling away in darkest slumber.
In a dramatic but gradual take-back by nature, the phone lines went down, as telegraph poles were slowly reabsorbed by a rebellion of trees.
Cage fighting had taken its toll on her cosplay outfit. But it was worth it. She grinned as she wiped the blood from her mouth and another feather fell to the ground.
Injured and soaked to the stem, she crawled slowly across the vast expanse of road. Only the distant glimmer of verge kept her going. Nothing could stop her: not the cars, the wind or any passing hedgehogs. She would make it to that grassy salvation. She would.
Mother of Dragons, eat your heart out. When this little rock hatches, I’m going to be so proud. Probably have a cry, which would be handy in case anything catches fire.
Deep in the forest, Mr Stringy-head-keyring was lost and alone. He was getting cold and the sky was darkening. He told himself to be brave, but his insides were stringy knotted with fear.
The eye carcass was discovered whilst out on a country walk. Little did they know that the very sight would haunt them forever, and ever and ever (dramatic laughter ensued).
The legend of the sunken treasures of The Black Pearl continue to circulate water fowl communities to this day. Enhanced by claims that Elizabeth Swann may in some way be related to ancestral swan lines, this fuels their perpetual desire to find the Pearl before any other. The search continues.
He said travel through the time vortex and we’ll meet on the other side. I tried to get through but kept banging my head.
1. Place bag on floor.
2. Say out loud ‘it’s a trap’ in an Admiral Akbar impression.
3. After 10 seconds inspect trap and mind your fingers.
Wands at the ready and ‘reparo’. Mm, it didn’t work. Zoom glasses are caught in a perfectly placed pending loop. (Come back please, I was listening.)
After John Hammond found the mosquito in amber, he hunted for a rainbow butterfly in crystal. He never found one. Let’s not tell him.
The ancient cactus candle has been lit, sending a beacon of prickles to the cactus cult followers, in a 1 meter radius.
The lifetime achievement award of pointless endeavours has been granted to the host. Although she is not alone in this particular hunt, and is unsure when or if it will ever end.
Every cloud has a silver lining, which makes the leaves really jealous.
The snow caps had melted on Mount Flooster. The expedition needed one last burst of energy to reach the summit. Praying adverse conditions and retractable claws didn’t get them along the way.
Clementine Head is upset they couldn’t be president, but it’s too late. Made a crown and everything. I’m sure we’ll all recover eventually.
This My Little Pony, cheeky and bony, acted like a tool and got expelled from Riding School.
Whilst Jason found the Golden Fleece, the Golden Dinosaur took the opportunity to escape. He’s been on the run ever since.
The Famous Fleas all left the circus after an unfortunate event with their Ferris-pin wheel. Fergus was left with a limp, Fred lost an eye and Felicity was never seen again.
Elsa popped round and froze our pond into fractals, I told her to ‘let it go’ but she was like ‘the cold doesn’t bother me anyway’. Well it does bother the frogs Elsa, so let it go.
A Jedi fell on the plains of kitchen counter, his leaf saber was no match for the poisonous rains of Flash Lemon. Sad times.
The pink moon orbits Planet Instagram, spinning endlessly in the darkest void of internet space. Tiny twinkly star.
2021 is go for launch. T-0 Solid (candle) rocket booster ignition and liftoff! 🚀